What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
