I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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