Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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