don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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