i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
