You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
