the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
