but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize