I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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