2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize