if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
