Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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