i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
