Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
