you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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