Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
