i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
