I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
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Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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