dude i'm inner monologue high
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
