$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
