Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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