I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
