Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
