Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
