I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize