No, drunk sperm still make babies.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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