Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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