My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
