he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
