I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize