apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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