Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize