are you still at the devil's house?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
