Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
