Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
