I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
