I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
