i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
