Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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