i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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