He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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