i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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