so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
