He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
