just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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