yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
COCAINE IS GR8
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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