I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize