You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
