I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize