Jerry, you need to find god
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
