My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
