hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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