i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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