dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
