clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
