Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
