only if we run a train.
done.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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