covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
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I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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