i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i now understand why vodka
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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